Tag Archives: Dragon

Intentions, 2017

02 Monday Jan 2017

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Well, it happened.  I think more than other recent years, many of us were ready for 2016 to get the fuck out and the words “overstayed its welcome” may be the message history has for the year.  While it’s important to move forward from the year, we need to also set intentions for the year ahead based on what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown.  I look at 2016 as a year of learning, growth, and major successes.  But it was also a year of sadness, loss, and some struggle.  I am not who I’m going to become without allowing each of those categories to have a purpose in my steps forward.  So if you’re struggling with finding an intention, don’t stress it.  Here are some of mine.  Feel free to use if they resonate.  Feel free to modify to resonate more strongly.  But most importantly, feel your way to the best version of yourself.

I teach Forrest Yoga and I take my “mend the hoop of the people” pledge from Ana very seriously.  Yesterday, while I called on the Four Directions for some inspiration, I felt the call to really step into being a healer – for myself and for others – in the year ahead.  I don’t really know exactly what it means just yet but I do have a few hunches.

I will challenge myself daily to connect with my spirit.  But I’ll use the power of connection to also connect more authentically with students, friends, family.  One of my hunches about helping to heal – primarily myself but others as well – begins with connection.  I want to see Beauty and feel gratitude every day.  And more importantly, I want to help others do the same.

I’ll continue my path of yoga.  I don’t have any specific “yoga goals” this year but I do have a general direction about where I want to take my practice.  And where my practice takes me.  I want to get stronger.  I want to stay more present.  I want to have fun while doing those.

How do I become the best version of myself?  That’s a question I ask daily and this year, I want to live it – every moment, every breath.  Feeling my way to the most powerful version of myself.  And the thought I keep having about this – I’m never going to stop growing.  Who’s in?

 

Intention – December

05 Monday Dec 2016

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The year of 2016 is coming to an end.  It’s been a year with some great moments and great memories.  This past year has offered up highs and lows, but I made it.  With less than 30 days to go, I’m ready for 2017.  But before I sing “so long, farewell” to 2016, there are a few loose ends.

This month’s intention, finally landing and making sense, is to learn who I am, grow into my spirit, and feel my way to where I want to next year.

Who am I?  Seems like a trick question, right??  But I’ve been through so much this year, I think it’s important for me to step back and to remember who I am at the beginning of the day.  I’m a yoga teacher.  A student of Forrest Yoga.  I’m a healer.  I’m a friend.  A brother.  A son.  I’ll always be a dragon but the fire of the phoenix is burning bright in me right now.  New year, new beginnings maybe.  I don’t know.  But I feel like it’s setting me up for something more.

My spirit wants attention – daily.  It’s like a greedy child but in the best possibly ways.  My spirit wants to play, to feel, to be let out and encouraged to fly.  I think the past few months of connecting to my spirit more deeply have set me up for the end of the year.  To actually without pause be with me.  And to enjoy it.

I don’t know what 2017 or the universe have in store.  But I do know a few things….I’m stronger now.  I look at myself more honestly.  I see others.  I feel others.  And I really hope for the best.  With the powers of crow flying around, I have a hunch 2017 will be a year of magick, of laughter, and of discovery.  I can’t wait.  More to come this month (I promise) but I cannot wait to step into the next year, give a quick side eye, and take off.  Who’s with me?

Intention, October ’16

01 Saturday Oct 2016

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It’s time for a new intention.  Well, not that I’m getting rid of the old ones.  That’s the fun thing about working with intents – we can add to them, allow them to evolve, or even re-use the same ones repeatedly.  I’ve been feeling the intention for this month churn inside me for a few weeks now.  With the new moon yesterday, new month today, and rainy weather here today, it feels like the right time to start.

Back story – I’ve been emotionally overwhelmed lately.  News of hate, violence, killings, beatings, etc. is really getting to me.  The level of disrespect is increasing at rates that we may have never felt before.  I’ve noticed my shoulders getting heavier with the weight of all things worldly and I’ve seen the same in bodies of students.  There have been definite moments I’ve wanted to retreat, to hide, to shield, and then to build my fortress.  I did that once.  And I’m still tearing down those walls, so I know that’s not really an option.

This month, I’m working with the word ‘connection.’  Each day, I’m going to go deeper connecting with my own spirit.  Using some lessons from Ana Forrest, I’m going to feed my spirit daily, to delight it, and to feel my own light grow brighter.  And each day, I’m going to connect to the spirit of anyone the universe leads across my path.  I’m going to see people as human.  Not a designer label, not a social class, but an outright human.  And hopefully, whether they feel it or not, their spirit will feel the value my spirit places on them.  And they get to grow brighter too.

While I’m not sure, I feel like actually connecting with myself and with others with true kindness is the beginning lesson we need to change this world.  To heal.  Authentic connection can be the catalyst to change, but as brightly as I know I can shine, I can’t do it alone.  If connecting to your own spirit is new to you, I’m going to give some ideas of how I’ll be connecting.  If you have that but aren’t sure how to connect to others, I’ve got some suggestions.  They’re just suggestions and you’ll figure out what will work for you.  Use this intent, share this intent.  And let’s all shine more.

Connecting to spirit: meditate; dance; sing; yoga; learn something new every day; play a drum; play a flute; play something; laugh; go outside; walk a dog; scratch a cat; feel the earth; look up; read a book; write a journal; write a poem.

Connecting to others: get off the computer; get off Facebook; call; write a letter; meet for coffee; meet for dinner; say hi to a stranger; open a door; say thank you; don’t look away; put phones down; laugh; sing; dance; hug; share a poem; share a song.

Spark.

29 Thursday Sep 2016

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I’ve been sitting on this blog for awhile.  Thoughts have been churning in my head, but nothing felt authentic.  I’m not really sure yet where this tale will lead so this may be a part 1.  But there’s a message in here that’s aching to be let out.

There is much darkness in the world.  Violence.  Hate.  Death.  As a human, I should feel that it impacts me.  As a yogi, I want to change it.  The dragon fire in me wants fairness, equality, and opportunity for all.

The thought that’s been playing through my mind for a couple of weeks has been how can we outshine the darkness?  That thought is followed pretty closely by wondering if that’s even possible.  Namaste, the phrase we say at the end of classes ~ meaning the light in me honors the light in you ~ seems to be losing some of it’s luster.

One of the Four Pillars of Forrest Yoga is Spirit.  Whether you call it spirit, soul, light, or other word, it’s lives in each of us.  One of the biggest detriments of today’s always connected world is that we’re actually going the other way and we’ve lost connection to self.  And from that, to others.  Think – when was the last time you phoned instead of texted; mailed a letter instead of emailed; or invited for coffee instead of liking a photo on Instagram?

When we connect to our own spirit, we want to connect to other spirits.  We build community.  We heal.  As a people, we can be cruel.  But we can also show great compassion.  But we cannot show compassion to another until we show kindness to ourselves.

Stay tuned, October 1 is coming up.  The intention I’m setting for the month is spirit focused with double emphasis on community and kindness.  And I hope you’ll play along.

 

Imagine

20 Tuesday Sep 2016

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There has been quite a bit of turmoil in the world lately.  I really haven’t been able to look away.  And not looking away has been slowly breaking me down and making me want to throw my shields up to hide.  With senseless deaths all over the news, bombings, violence, and absolute disrespect happening everywhere it seems, I’ve begun to take my shielding precautions  without actually shielding myself.

I practiced yesterday with two of my best friends on this planet.  The thought of “how do I/we get my/our spark(s) to outshine the hate?” kept coming up.  I unfortunately don’t have an answer yet.  But I feel it about to happen.  Because I was with both AD and CR in spirit, surrounded by their laughs, their joy, and their hope.  Combine that with mine and we can take on the world.

I had an email discussion with one of my nieces today.  What started quite frankly as two people on opposite sides of the street concluded with two people meeting at the intersection.  Both of us have a sense of dismay for what’s happening around us, neither of us has a straight up answer, but we’re neither one willing to give up hope.

As I did my daily practice today, I’ve been taking advantage of the amazing weather in DC and practicing on my building rooftop.  Today, while sirens were sounding around the city and as I began my sun salutations, John Lennon’s song “Imagine” came on.  It was surreal.  Here I was, in the middle of a city, with city life happening all around, and a song about hope came on my shuffle.

Imagine.  A world where we actually respect each other.  A world where I see you, you see me, and we neither look away.  I’m feeling incredibly saddened by events across the globe but as the saying goes “Think globally, act locally.”  So I shall.  I’m avoiding negative headlined news stories; I won’t click on the stories of violence and hate – this is not to say I’m ignoring, it’s saying I’m sick and fucking tired about reading about them; I’m looking for connections with other people – real, authentic connection.  Where we allow our humanity out and show our true vulnerabilities, also known as being strong.  Who’s with me?

“You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one”  John Lennon.

Homecoming

11 Monday Jul 2016

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No, it’s not me going back to my high school or college.  But where my life was so incredibly changed.

I leave in a few hours for my return to Peterborough, UK.  I completed my Forrest Yoga Foundation Training there two years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been only two years – I feel so incredibly different than when I started this journey.  I’m assisting my second Foundation training led by Ana Forrest and including assistants that assisted my training.  This feels like my family.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my family with all my heart.  They have been there for me in ways that I am forever grateful.  But this group – Ana, Jose, Sandra, Jambo, Sita, and Ros – they’ve seen me through my shit.  And I cannot wait for the moment I’m able to pull each of them in my arms and thank them.

I’m working in my own little corner to Mend the Hoop of the People.  And I’ve realized that Hoop Mending begins with myself – and from there, I can help students, friends, teachers, and other to feel their own strength within, to lift their heads, and to face the world in the security that I’m there next to them; and they are next to me.

Homecoming.  It’s about reconnecting.  It’s about love.  And it’s about celebrating every moment our paths cross.

Let it go

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

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I’ve been quiet this past week, going inside, feeling my feels, and letting others shield me for me.  To catch you up, I had to let go of my best friend and bulldog Baxter one week ago today.  The cancer began to show definite signs it was winning.  He wasn’t suffering, he was growing weaker, and I didn’t want the suffering to begin.  I was able to spend the day with him – loving him, taking his love in, and honoring the amazing dog that he was.  The final moments of his life were filled with love and Beauty.

In his loss, I’ve been working on a really quite difficult version of gratitude – grateful for the years that I had with him and grateful we shared that time, thereby letting him go in love.  It’s hard, I’m not going to lie.  In letting go, we typically want to be selfish and keep that which we cherish near us.  Letting go with gratitude allows us to let go of what we love and hold tight to the memories filled with love.

I had another moment of letting go in gratitude today that reminded me of this work.  I lost a $20 bill.  It fell out of my pocket somewhere between the store and home.  When I realized it wasn’t in my pocket, my first thought was “Well, shit.”

But then I said a prayer.  I asked the Sacred Ones to guide that $20 to someone that needs the money more than I or to someone that is feeling down on their luck and needed a change of tide.  In that moment, with that simple prayer, I let go of Baxter.  I fully gave his amazing spirit over to the universe to use – he was love and his spirit in the plane he reincarnates will be love again.  Giving someone somewhere joy – much like the joy he gave to me.

The sun rose

30 Thursday Jun 2016

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And I guess it’ll continue to rise.  Grief is a funny emotion – it hits in this odd moments, in these different manners, and at points feels overpowering.  There have been moments today that I’m who I was a week ago – #AYogiAndHisDog.  And then I look at the couch and he’s not there; I go to the bedroom and he’s gone.  I tried to nap today but my napping companion didn’t join me and I couldn’t.

I’ve been in grief before.  I know how it’s done.  I know how it fucks us up.  But I’m also different now.  I know I can breathe.  I understand that the voice in my head making me feel guilty for “grieving wrong” is full of shit and this is my process.  Grief demands that – to honor the process; not to force anything; and to be human.

I taught my 7am class as usual; rushed home to walk Baxter only to remember on my way in that his walk wasn’t necessary.  I broke down completely in my noon class and shared a moment of authenticity with the class – that I didn’t want to teach that class but because of who they are and the power they hold, I was able to make it through.  I thought about filling his empty water dish.  The apartment feels “quiet.”  That statement is a weird one because he wasn’t a loud dog; it’s missing his energy that makes if feel quiet.

The sun set tonight.  It’ll come back up tomorrow.  I offered sage to the Sacred Ones yesterday for him, for me, for healing.  Today, I offered sage to help prevent me from hiding, from shielding.  Tomorrow, I don’t know what the prayer to the Sacred Ones will include but community is something that is coming across strongly right now.

Baxter saved my life.  I’ve said it so many times before.  Now it’s time for me to save my own.  #WhenTheGoingGetsTough #TheToughStartBreathing.

Journal, June 22, 2016

27 Monday Jun 2016

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I’m starting something new to the blogging.  And opening up my journal.  It’s a level of vulnerability I don’t share often.  It’s scary.  Somewhat intimidating.  But as the song goes “…the scariest part is letting go.”

Courage is a frequent vistor in my themes and being vulnerable is one of the biggest ways we can be courageous.  So here I am, being brave.  That’s some scary ass shit right there.

June 22
You know those moments.
You think you’re strong.
But realize you’re not.
I’m in it.  Baxter’s time is dwindling.  He knows.  I know.  I want to run.  I don’t want him to suffer.  I don’t want to say goodbye.
I woke up this morning with his head by mine.  His body next to me.  And I could have stayed there all day.  He’s eating less.  Breathing harder.  I’m crying a lot.  A lot.
I take joy in our 10+ years.  In the memories; the way I’ve laughed; the joy he brought.  I take comfort in the first face he sees in the transition will be Mike.  And for a moment, fleeting at best, we’ll be family still.
He’s been my best friend.  Closest confidant.  I’ve offered him every ounce of protection my dragon can give.  I’ve told the cat to share her magicks.
But now it’s a time of completion.  Of love.  More love.  And so much love.
Mike didn’t give me the chance to say goodbye.  I’ve had months with Baxter.  My goodbye is scattered by the wind to the stars.

#twomenkissing

14 Tuesday Jun 2016

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There was another mass murder shooting spree this past weekend.  I’m still trying to figure out how this shit keeps happening.  I’m growing tired.  I’ve grown tired of the same tired arguments being marched out, changing no one’s mind, and status quo remaining the same.  But this shooting – it was different.  The murderer was homophobic, taking out his discomfort with gays at a gay night club.  He saw two men kissing and was pushed to this extreme.  It’s hitting me personally.  While I so far know none of the victims personally, I have friends that did.

The media and politician are currently  rushing to blame a terror group I won’t name here with some out right denying where this violence with a gun happened.  It happened at a gay club.  Filled with hundreds of people invoking their right to happiness.  The gun fire was specifically targeted to one place – a gay bar.  This. Was. A. Hate. Crime.

I’m adding my voice to the chorus shouting the names of the victims.  As a gay male, these strangers are my family.  We are bound over the link of being ostracized, the fear of being disowned, and being told we don’t deserve the same rights as straight allies.  The environment has been ripe for some time for a mass murder of gays.  By a person of <insert the name of any organized religion here> faith.  The LGBTQ community has been consistently targeted, discriminated against, held down, pushed back, punched, kicked, spit on, condemned, etc.  And this gay man has had enough.

Churches and ministers point out “our sin” while forgetting they aren’t the judge.  Bakeries are denying us cake.  CAKE!  Because we’ll ruin marriage.  Side note – I think the around 50 percent divorce rate in this country has fucked marriage up pretty good.  Stores that support LGBTQ rights are hit with campaigns to avoid the store until the store practice of seeing humans as <gasp> humans is changed.  It’s the family member that won’t come to a gay wedding because two men kissing.  The LGBTQ community can still be legally fired in this country for being LGBTQ.  Most in the community have an awareness to surroundings just in case someone decides to get violent or verbally assault us – these things happen daily.

There are over 100 families right now impacted by the events.  Lives changed.  Lives stolen.  My daily intention yesterday was to connect with my spirit.  I did.  And when I did, I felt more human.  So you, reader, take a breath to you heart right now.  Feel the pulse.  In there is your spirit.  Reach out.  And feel the world differently.  Connection.  The one thing every person at Pulse was looking for, not realizing how their lives would be forever intertwined.