Category Archives: Breath

The sun rose

30 Thursday Jun 2016

Posted by in #nothingforgranted, Bad Yogi, Beauty Reports, Breath, Dragon, Life Lessons

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And I guess it’ll continue to rise.  Grief is a funny emotion – it hits in this odd moments, in these different manners, and at points feels overpowering.  There have been moments today that I’m who I was a week ago – #AYogiAndHisDog.  And then I look at the couch and he’s not there; I go to the bedroom and he’s gone.  I tried to nap today but my napping companion didn’t join me and I couldn’t.

I’ve been in grief before.  I know how it’s done.  I know how it fucks us up.  But I’m also different now.  I know I can breathe.  I understand that the voice in my head making me feel guilty for “grieving wrong” is full of shit and this is my process.  Grief demands that – to honor the process; not to force anything; and to be human.

I taught my 7am class as usual; rushed home to walk Baxter only to remember on my way in that his walk wasn’t necessary.  I broke down completely in my noon class and shared a moment of authenticity with the class – that I didn’t want to teach that class but because of who they are and the power they hold, I was able to make it through.  I thought about filling his empty water dish.  The apartment feels “quiet.”  That statement is a weird one because he wasn’t a loud dog; it’s missing his energy that makes if feel quiet.

The sun set tonight.  It’ll come back up tomorrow.  I offered sage to the Sacred Ones yesterday for him, for me, for healing.  Today, I offered sage to help prevent me from hiding, from shielding.  Tomorrow, I don’t know what the prayer to the Sacred Ones will include but community is something that is coming across strongly right now.

Baxter saved my life.  I’ve said it so many times before.  Now it’s time for me to save my own.  #WhenTheGoingGetsTough #TheToughStartBreathing.

#heartinabox

09 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by in #nothingforgranted, Beauty Reports, Breath, Dragon, Forrest Yoga, Intention setting, Intentions, Life Lessons

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I’m currently working on a pretty big issue in my life.  After my ex died a few years ago, I did something to protect myself that at the time, made sense.  I boxed my heart up and hid it away.  Because at that point in my life, I was completely shattered.  And at that point in my life, I wasn’t sure how I’d breathe, let alone walk and take steps forward on my path.

Cut to last month in Chicago.  I’d forgotten how securely I built the box around my heart.  During the Forrest Foundation training, another assistant and I demonstrated a seeing exercise.  During the exercise, she quite accurately saw my heart wanting to burst out of the box.  After that discovery, I’m working on revealing more of my heart and letting it out of the box entirely.  Scary, I know.

Part of that process has been to come at the box with everything I have.  And what I can say is that attention, or type of attack, is just building the boxes defenses up even more.  Needless to say, that was not my goal.  During a Forrest class yesterday, with the focus to breathe into one spot for the entire class, the realization came to me – I’ve been coming at the box with a sledgehammer when it wanted a feather.

One thing that Ana said last month during the training is ringing true.  We often attack with everything we have but in reality, just need a bit of compassion.  I applied compassion during class yesterday and the result wasn’t shift or opening but a movement toward awareness.  It was an interesting day yesterday and today as well – with much introspection and deep breath.  I can softly acknowledge that I’m on this path now toward letting my heart out.  I’m not sure how long it’ll take but I’m walking it.  And trying to allow my heart to lead the way.

Just breathe

12 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by in Breath, Forrest, Intentions

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Today’s theme was brought to me by breath.  And it served as an AMAZING reminder how powerful breath can be.

I had one student attend my morning class and as with all private sessions, I asked where she would like to focus.  Her response – breath and core.  I sat her in meditation and asked for her to breathe deeply.  After picking up on “catches” in her breath, I asked how she felt when she inhaled.  She was sick with pneumonia a year ago and was still trying to get her lung capacity back up.

I worked with her on expanding her lungs, sitting behind her and reading where the prana (energy) was getting stuck.  At one point, I placed my fingers deeply into her collarbone and asked her to send breath there.  She could but with obvious and literal pain.  For the rest of the practice, I encouraged her to stay just under that pain cut threshold but to inhale slowly.

Cut to me, offering an adjustment in Warrior I, less than 30 minutes later.  She had hiked her shoulders to her ears and I was helping her find a place of comfort there.  When I felt a clear, unrestrained breath hit her collarbone.  When I asked her about it, she purposefully inhaled to that spot again and said “It doesn’t hurt.”

The end of my day concluded with a Forrest class centered entirely in my lungs.  I could feel the expansiveness of my front, back, left, and right side as I inhaled.  I felt my ribs expanding, allowing the life force to flow easier into my very being.

Breath is one of those things that we take for granted.  Our bodies inhale and exhale without us actually having to think.  But what happens when we do – when we slow our inhale down and allow our exhale to just release?  We find space.  We find calm.  We find a way and a reason to actually begin to breathe freely again.  And to let some shit go.

Forrest Yoga is NOTHING without breath.  It’s through breath that we learn to ride the edge; we learn to stalk that which is holding us back and either snuggle in close with it and make it our friend or we release it with an amazing lion’s breath.  The roar from a really cleansing lion’s breath is beyond amazing.  But it only happens when we breathe into a space where we want to let something go.

So breath.  #justbreathe  Sounds easy.  But a phrase I’ve used in many a yoga class is “When the going gets tough, the tough start to breathe.”

Steps forward

08 Monday Sep 2014

Posted by in Breath, Forrest, Gratitude, Life Lessons

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My yogi summer is coming to an end and after completing the Forrest Yoga Foundation Training, I’ve taken some time for myself to explore the cities of London and Paris. I walked around both cities with no pre-planned agenda but to just be in the moment, honor the moment, and see what each city wanted to offer.

What I discovered was that I love both cities immensely and cannot wait until I come back again. But bigger than that, I came to the realization that I have changed for the better and these cities are proof. The “old me” would not have left at 9am each morning and not returned until 4-5pm, only to leave again for dinner. the old me would have been bitter to be traveling alone, paranoid because of the alone, and not looking forward to the next trip.

But that was the way old me. I’ve learned I’m more grounded than I thought I was. Yeah, I still get a bit freaked out in crowds but that didn’t stop me from experiencing; when the panic started to hit, I activated my feet and slowed down my breath. After which, I found another stop on the walking tour. I tried speaking French and failed; some may say I failed at English as well. But that was me, in my moment, loving every breath.

Why breathe…

30 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in Breath, Postures, Yoga

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I get it.  That crazy stupid phrase that “breath is life.”  We all quite possibly heard it but what does it mean.

It means from breath, comes life!  Honest.  I’ve been really focused on my breath in my own practice lately and what I’ve found is that if I can slow down my breathing, the posture becomes easy.  If I remember to breathe period, the posture becomes easy.  But why is that?

Because yoga is the uniting, it’s yoking of one aspect of living to another.  More specifically, it’s linking breath to movement.  If you are able to move without breath, zombie.  Ok, not literally but along those lines.  Try running a mile while holding your breath.  While I’ve never attempted it, I’m going to say, it’s tough to do.  But if you’re able to find a slow, steady breath, how much easier does the run go?

Yoga is exactly the same.  If you’re able to breathe from one posture, or one movement into the next, and allow that breath to be your focus, where can you take your practice?  Or better yet, where can your practice take you?  Faster breathing encourages your body to panic.  And there’s no panic in yoga.  But there is in running from zombies.