Category Archives: Gratitude

See(k) Beauty

04 Monday May 2015

Posted by in #nothingforgranted, Bad Yogi, Beauty Reports, Forrest Yoga, Gratitude, Intention setting, Intentions, Life Lessons

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My teacher Ana Forrest draws from Native American tradition frequently and seeing Beauty – with a CAPITAL B – is something that many of us have lost the ability to do.  Beauty can be anything that grabs your spirit in that moment – the laugh of an infant; a blooming flower; a song that reminds you of…

There is much anger, resentment, hate, pain, and <insert any other negative emotion here> in the world today it’s become heavy.  And so much harder to see the Beauty that surrounds us.  We have Beauty moments every day.  Not kidding.  But we’ve forgotten to appreciate them.  We’ve forgotten what it feels like to our spirits to have our breath taken away in that Beauty way.

As I was walking home from a class this gorgeous morning and taking in all of what the sun was providing, the thought began to roll through my mind – why not seek out my Beauty moments?  Adding the “K” seems like such a small, small thing.  But it’s already had impact on my morning.  I started my laundry at the same time as a neighbor.  What is an obviously manual and tedious task was changed as she and I caught up, shared a few “laundry disaster” stories, and laughed.  While I was seeking Beauty in my interaction with her, she picked up and had a Beauty moment of her own.

I’ll be the first to admit here – this could be challenging.  I deem myself an optimist but seeking out a Beauty moment could be challenging.  Beauty isn’t forced; it happens naturally.  But with heightened awareness, commitment to staying present, and wanting to see/feel the amazing in each of us, Beauty will happen.  Join me in seeking out Beauty and let’s smile.  And feed our Spirits.

How do you embrace happy?

22 Wednesday Apr 2015

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The title of this post may be a trick question.  For me, it comes down not to always having an amazing day (that helps) but to also finding happiness in the little things and every day.  Happiness has been a tough word for me to embrace the past few years.  So much so, I have found ways to sabotage my own path toward happy because I have felt less than worthy.  So. Stupid.  And such a waste of my energy.

After my life took a series of unfortunate events that were outside of my control, I took back the steering wheel with one goal – find my happy.  Three years since I quit my 9-5 office job and embarked; the man I was three years ago was so naive.  I thought my happy would come flooding back to me in a flash.  But what I’ve discovered and am still learning is that happy is choice that I must make daily.

I lift up gratitude daily that I found this deep connection to yoga, that I have been able to teach this passion, and that every day I teach, I gain some knowledge from students.  I honor the fact that I am able to spend time with friends, sometimes playing the sports I love, other times watching sports we love.  I am beyond humbled when students make a break through in a class and share their excitement with me.  Or even when I make a break through in a class and my fellow students share in my “holy shit, did you see that?” moment.

I embrace my happy by finding things every day for which to be grateful.  From Baxter being his charming self to the smell of fresh cut grass to an awesome feeling breeze in my mohawk.  We have two options every day when presented with a moment like that – to rush by and not notice; or to #lookup and take #nothingforgranted.  It’s my hope that more people will begin using the #nothingforgranted as a reminder that happiness is what we make.  And I’m making mine pretty amazing – join me?

Beauty Report, April 7, 2015

07 Tuesday Apr 2015

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I teach a lunch time class at a local gym on Mondays.  I have been so incredibly fortunate to have this class since last September and have grown to know the regulars and their practices.  And I cherish that they put up with me weekly.

My Beauty Report actually occurred yesterday and needs a bit of a back story.  I’m fairly active in various sports – racquetball, dodgeball, softball, and volleyball.  Three weeks ago at the end of season tournament for dodgeball, I strained the tendon on my left hand between my index finger and thumb.  Two weeks ago playing volleyball, I sprained the thumb on my right hand.  This class knew about both injuries.

Cut to yesterday’s class.  As I was talking with students arriving, one student asked the inevitable question – what sports related injury did I have this week?  It was a moment I took in with smile, a nod, and then a story about my new injury (heel of my right foot).

It’s not the injury that’s the Beauty Report.  It’s the interaction, the connection, and the presence of each of us in that moment that is.  We live in this world of texts, tweets,  and other distracting mechanisms.  But my students and I shared five minutes of uninterrupted interaction where we laughed and related with each other.  A lost skill.  But it’s such a powerful skill that when we are touched by it, our hearts light the fuck up.  And that light is so amazingly bright.  Aho.

What’s your costume?

18 Wednesday Mar 2015

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<<<Warning: things may get personal and long>>>

I have had this blog rolling around in my head in some form since last Halloween.  I find the thought of “what’s my costume” interesting, powerful, and scary as hell.  I think we all wear a costume.  The sad fact is often that after time, we fail to realize that we put a costume on daily; I’m definitely guilty of this.

Some costumes appear in the form of shields to protect our heart or our head because of a prior life experience.  Others are actual “costumes” where we make ourselves out to be a bigger or better version of self.  And there are those costumes that camouflage us and try to hide us away from the seeing eyes of people.  We may have one, we may have all three but they all provide us with the idea of safety in ways that actually keep us from stepping into that vision of self that we see.  I very distinctly have all three.  And it’s while playing with the idea of this post that I can identify an example of each – I’m sure I’ve got multiple costumes on various levels but this is what I know to be true.

I shield my heart STRONGLY.  I have been burned badly by a person I loved, to the extent that I’ve been afraid to put myself back into the field completely.  When something starts going well, I practice self-sabotage. I struggle with seeing why I deserve to be happy.  A friend and teacher (AD) can identify each time I’m not connected to my heart and it’s the same damn shield every time.  I can feel it there.  One I think I’ve taken care of but it’s there.

I also project out this version of myself that I think most others want to see, that I want to be, and that makes the most sense in any given moment.  I call this my inflated ego.  Because I want to be brave.  I want to be strong.  I want to be …

The last is actually my hardest.  Another friend and teacher (JT) said the other day how he and I are both afraid of our own fire.  When he said that, the realization fully hit me – I’m hiding my own light from myself because it’s scary as fuck to think about letting it go.

My question to self – and whomever is still reading – is why hide?  Why not be?  I am me, I know I have fire, I know I’m shiny, what scares me the most about taking down all of the costumes?  It’s revealing those parts of me that I still may not like to everyone that I do like.  But that’s my truth – and it’s a daily path I walk.  My intent is to slowly and with my breath, begin to reveal true self to others and stop putting out the costumed version.

I’m a superhero.  I don’t need a secret identity.

Intention, part II

08 Thursday Jan 2015

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This is the unexpected, part II of my New Year’s Intention setting for 2015.  And I may as well be honest – there may be more to come.  Today’s intention was brought to me by a friend, teacher, and fellow dragon Jambo Truong.  He’s set an intention to not complain.  And because I think he enjoys tormenting me, challenged me to do the same.

It scares me for some reason.  I don’t know why.  I think maybe in my current world, with all of my breath and reflective moments, I still take some delight in the miserable.  And how fucked up is that??  Sure, I may “justify” my complaints by saying that I add a huge helping of sarcasm, but at the end of it, they’re still complaints that have the power to bring myself and my listeners down.  Why do that?

Isn’t there enough negative in the world?  Aren’t we all just trying to make due with the best we have?  And what is the power shift if instead of making observations about how cold it is here to change it and instead acknowledge how powerful winter actually is in the scheme of things.  It’s also needed.

So here goes – I’m going to reduce my complaints.  I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to stop cold turkey but I’m going to try.  My technique will be to implement Ana Forrest’s “Formula for Change.”  The two key components are to catch the habit and to breathe.  Go figure.  Breath.  I think it’ll be pretty amazing to feel my energy shift as I breathe into the positive and to let go of the negative.  Because “the cold never bothered me anyway.”

#riskbeinghappy

21 Friday Nov 2014

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It happened this morning while riding the metro in DC – I looked around at my fellow riders.  Rather than just “look,” I felt for a spark of life.  And didn’t really get anything back.  I completely understand the mentality – we’re all here to change the world and with that, comes a great weight.  But shouldn’t that weight be energizing and uplifting rather than push us down?

In a previous life (three years ago), I was in that role.  Working on for a non-profit and I was changing the world.  But life, as it often does, threw in a surprise roadblock and from that block, I learned one thing that I hold true today – If I am not happy, I can’t change anyone’s world.  I set out to figure out where and how I’d lost my happy.  While the immediate answer is clear to me, the journey back has been nothing less than empowering.

This morning on the metro, I did what any ‘normal’ person would do to counter the negative energy – I started singing to myself and dancing.  While the other commuters rolled their eyes and probably told co-workers of this crazy dancing fool on the train, I hope what they actually picked up on was the spark.

“Namaste,” the word we speak at the close of many yoga classes, means ‘the light in me bows to the light in you.’  I’ve focused a lot on that phrase lately in the classes I teach.  I want my students to learn two truths about themselves – they have a light inside and they need to let that shit shine.  I’ve had friends tell me I glow and I’m finding when I get that comment the most is when I’m happy.  I think there’s power in that.

Let’s all do something with that power.  Let’s #riskbeinghappy and do something daily that makes us smile.  It can be to hang out with great friends, do an awesomely fun yoga pose, or any other (safe/legal) activity that brings you great joy.  While having one person experience that level of happy is my goal, happiness is contagious.  So share your joy, share your spark.  Share it on Twitter or Instagram as #riskbeinghappy and challenge friends and family do the same.  One genuine and true smile a day.

How hard can it be?  And why stop at one?

Postcards

12 Sunday Oct 2014

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Potential teaching faux pas – I used the same intention for two classes. But it’s a really good one.

I’ve been obsessed with a song lately and haven’t quite figured out why. The song is “Postcards” by James Blunt. I have been listening to it no less than 10 times per day for the past week. It’s catchy, upbeat, but it took me some time to figure out why I couldn’t get enough. And when I did figure it out, it makes perfect sense, matching up with where I am right now.

There is a line that goes like this: “I’m sending a postcard, I don’t care who sees what I’ve said. Or if the whole world knows what’s going on in my head.”

That line has power – sheer, utter, crazy power. It’s putting yourself out there so far, it’s both scary and exciting but who cares? Showing those spaces of ourselves is hard to do, especially when we’ve built up years of shielding. If we let our shields down, how much can we impact the lives of another? If we put it out there, how far and bright will our light shine? Those are the questions I posed to my classes.

Our asana practice on the mat teaches us to breathe into the pose, into the moment, to stay present and feel out the sensations. If we are able to successfully translate that off the mat, we can show a more accurate version of self; the version that we typically hide beneath layers of shielding and the version that we’re most often afraid of ourselves. My challenge, and it’s a personal one for me too, is to let my shields down, to keep my shields down, and to shine.

Steps forward

08 Monday Sep 2014

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My yogi summer is coming to an end and after completing the Forrest Yoga Foundation Training, I’ve taken some time for myself to explore the cities of London and Paris. I walked around both cities with no pre-planned agenda but to just be in the moment, honor the moment, and see what each city wanted to offer.

What I discovered was that I love both cities immensely and cannot wait until I come back again. But bigger than that, I came to the realization that I have changed for the better and these cities are proof. The “old me” would not have left at 9am each morning and not returned until 4-5pm, only to leave again for dinner. the old me would have been bitter to be traveling alone, paranoid because of the alone, and not looking forward to the next trip.

But that was the way old me. I’ve learned I’m more grounded than I thought I was. Yeah, I still get a bit freaked out in crowds but that didn’t stop me from experiencing; when the panic started to hit, I activated my feet and slowed down my breath. After which, I found another stop on the walking tour. I tried speaking French and failed; some may say I failed at English as well. But that was me, in my moment, loving every breath.