What a question, huh? At the end of the day, who I am? What am I known for? How do I cultivate that now?
I had a tarot reading today. I spilled my guts on love, on teaching, on studio stuff. I joked that I didn’t have a question, but that if I did, it wasn’t yes/no. The reading was POWERFUL. My key take away – believe in myself; believe in my magick; change the world. Easy peezy.
I’ve spend most of my life not really believing in me, not knowing my power, not knowing the why. The answer has been showing itself repeatedly over the past few months. But it took today’s reading to shake it to my core.
When I breathe into what came up, I feel really big. Like, REALLY BIG. I feel brighter than I’ve ever shown. And I understand that my flaws are part of my journey – so why should I try and be perfect when the universe knows I’m not.
I’m sitting tonight with a few believers in me when I didn’t think I was worthy. Code names in effect, but I’m pretty sure they can figure it out.
To the teacher, the mentor, the friend, the brother that’s been with me through lifetimes – I’m so sorry for being a pain in your ass. You are the best gift that the universe has gifted me. And while we come from different dragon lineages, we are same in the fundamental dragon spirit – if we don’t love ourselves, we cannot love anyone. I can’t wait to spend hours laughing about everything with you in person again. And feeding our spirits in ways that we don’t realize we need.
To the teacher that said words of kindness to me about the integrity and vision I hold for Dragon’s Breath Yoga – I don’t have the words yet. They have yet to be discovered. But thank you for “digging my energy” and holding that space in your heart while you explored the world.
To the teacher that said “yes” before I said anything about DBY – I’m proud of you. So. Proud. We change the world when we change ourself. And I’m honored to have served as guide for part of your journey.
To the best friend that wasn’t mean’t to be – we came from differing views. But at the end of the day we both had a realization that without others, we are nothing. For quite some time, I’ve called you my best friend. We aren’t friends, We are Warrior siblings. And I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have by my side.
To the student that plots, schemes, attends classes, wants more, asks the hard questions, wants to self improve – quite a few fall into this one. I see you. You see me. It’s a step toward now that we all get to do.
To Baxter, the bulldog I had – I can’t thank you enough for keeping me from not killing myself. Your daily need for walks, for affection, for play held me on this planet in some really dark moments.
For DC, the cat that chose me – your magick runs through my veins.
And to Beatrix – the current bulldog. Love isn’t one sided; it doesn’t hold a grudge. Love is in the amazing uptake of the moment. While I think you’re growing too fast, I am up-taking EVERY FUCKING MOMENT you crawl into my lap while I meditate and hoping they last that much longer.