Category Archives: Forrest Yoga

Pride

05 Wednesday Jun 2019

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It’s June.  It’s a month to celebrate who we are.

So who am I?  And where/how do I celebrate me?  I’m going to pull the “Strength” Pillar from Forrest Yoga for this one.

I went to ‘Night out at the Nats’ last night and shockingly enough, I’m not sure who won the game.  I saw friends, reconnected with a student, and spent some time chatting with a friend from YEARS ago.

He and I met when we were in completely different places.  Addicts of one or more thing.  And speaking for myself, absolutely denying that I would have a purpose in this life.  Cut to the present.  He’s discovered a passion in a sport, created a league around that sport, and is working toward more competitions.

I’ve found my path and my purpose on the mat and in teaching others.  I’ve discovered the depths of healing are deep and limitless.

There was a moment with him last night that felt like this – two former addicts, each of whom has fought their way out of hell, acknowledging how far we’ve come, but how treacherous the path still could be.

I woke this morning holding that – it’s strength.  It’s will power.  I woke understanding that some days, it takes just getting out of bed; others it takes looking the world square in the face, lowering a shoulder, and going in.  Most days, it’s just getting up and moving fortunately.  But on those challenging days, I take pride in knowing that I’ve come through, will continue to come through, and my worth is written in the stars.

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Bad Yogi note – I don’t really speak to my addictions much.  That may or may not change. But if you are currently struggling with addiction, are fresh off any and need someone to speak to: 1) find a therapist/group; 2) build a support network among friends/family; 3) know this bad yogi is pulling for you.

Why I (still) teach

17 Tuesday Jul 2018

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It’s kind of funny.  I haven’t thought much about why I teach yoga lately and then, in the past few days, I’ve been shown so many reminders of the power in sharing this passion.

I teach because it is my passion.  I have frequently thought that I need to expand my knowledge of yogic texts and still want to explore them, my passion for yoga comes through the power in the asana practice. I feel this practice – and that may sound corny and standard, but the more I teach and practice, the more I begin to realize how kinesthetic I am.  In my practice, I play with small movements, little changes, different muscle activations to feel them in my body.  When I teach, I’ve been catching myself “doing the cue” before giving it to students so that my words give them what to chase/experience.

I teach for connection.  It’s a basic human need that is often overlooked.  We crave authentic connections with other people.  We crave growth.  We want to share out paths. Just this past weekend, I had a student come to one of my classes.  When I introduced myself, he said that he had taken my class before.  As we dove into when/where, it was over two years ago at a gym that is no longer on my schedule.  He took one class; he remembered that one class; he remembered me.  Now, he’s decided he needs to supplement his life with yoga; he tracked me down.  It’s a humbling feeling but it’s a really great feeling to have a student seek me out because of one class two years ago.

As a teacher, I want to challenge my students to become their best selves – both on and off the mat.  I’m inspired by students new to the practice that try an arm balance or inversion; by students that acknowledge how the practice has taught them to breathe and to feel themselves; by students that work through their shadows to find their light; and by other teachers that challenge me to “step up my game” on a regular basis to give students more opportunity to grow.

I teach because I practice every day.  And my daily practice, regardless of what it is, belongs completely to me.  I’m selfish with this time.  But I want students to be selfish with their time on the mat too. That’s where and how strength, integrity, breath, spirit, and going deeper turn us on to becoming our best self.

We get on the mat.  We breathe.  We make shapes.  From there, we allow the magick to happen.

2018 – Time to pick up yoga

02 Tuesday Jan 2018

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It is that time of year again – many of us look toward 2018 and what we want to accomplish or change.  Becoming more healthy is often times at the top of the list.  Fitness resolutions can be a great motivation to change habits, improve fitness, and create a more healthy life.

Yoga is a great addition to any fitness resolution but can be intimidating, especially for anyone that has not spent much time on a yoga mat.  Regardless of if you are joining a gym or a yoga studio here are some tips and suggestions to get your yoga practice off to a healthy start.

  • Arrive to class early. Getting to class early is a great chance to meet the teacher.  Introduce yourself.  Share your goals, your fears, and where you think yoga may help you out.  Let the teacher know your yoga experience and ask for any tips to make the class more successful for you as a student.
  • Keep your mind open. DC has an incredibly strong teacher population and each teacher practices and teaches from a style that resonates with them.  There is a yoga secret here that needs to be shared – you will not respond to every teacher.  And that’s ok.  Take classes from a variety of teachers to find the ones that you really like taking class with.  And then keep taking class with them, while still trying new to you teachers out.
  • Don’t spend a lot of money. There is a vast quantity of yoga props and clothing you can buy.  When you initially start, do not go overboard buying these things.  Instead, find out if you can rent a mat from the gym or studio as a way of test driving mats.  Clothing should be comfortable, easy to move in, and allow for you to focus instead on the practice and think less about “looking the part.”
  • Give yourself time to learn and grow into the practice. Yoga is an incredibly amazing way to help become more fit.  But there is a significant learning curve.  Rather than focusing on achieving an inversion or arm balance, focus on the poses that help you learn to connect more deeply with your breath, your body, and laying the groundwork for those poses.
  • Come back. As mentioned previously, yoga is a journey, and should be approached as such.  Starting the practice once or twice per week is a really great start.  Let yoga work in your fitness and in your life in the magical way that it does.
  • Have fun.   Have fun with your practice.  Bring a friend.  Make friends with those around you during your practice.  Building these connections helps to establish a longer, healthier practice both on and off the mat.
  • Show up. Time on the mat is one of the best, and only, opportunities we still have to shut off the phone, step out of the office, leave friends/family outside, and focus only on ourselves.  It is an amazing chance to learn more about yourself.  But you have to be willing to show up – every time you roll the mat out.

The mat is waiting.

December intent, 2017

04 Monday Dec 2017

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It’s only four days into the month and my intention is finally being put pen to paper.  So to speak.

I just got back from assisting the Forrest Yoga Advanced Teacher Training in Capetown and have a quiet month ahead.  No travel, no workshops, just being present here.  And that’s leading me to sit with the quiet and use it.  Here are a few things I’ll be working with and working on and working through.  Feel free to play along.

  • Revisiting my ethics as a teacher.  This is important to me.  It’s a chance to sit with how I teach and how I want to represent myself as a teacher.  It is an exercise every yoga teacher needs to work with at least once a year.  I have found mine change with experience and I think that’s a good thing.
  • Why do I teach yoga?  I think at it’s core, it should be an easy question to answer, but in the busy, often hectic schedule, we all have, it’s important to feel for what draws me back to teach.
  • Why do I practice yoga?  Much like teaching but this one is what brings me to my mat every day.  “What’s in it for me” comes up with this question and that’s a very good thing.
  • I believe in the magick of Forrest Yoga.  How can I convey this passion succinctly and with passion to anyone that asks?  How can I continue to live with my Spirit daily to being continued healing and growth not only for myself but for my students as well?
  • Where do I want to go next year?  As 2017 closes, how do I step with Beauty into 2018?
  • I have accomplished so much this year.  But I haven’t celebrated everything.  It’s time I uptake what I’ve done and let that re-charge me for the year ahead.

I’m pretty sure more will come up but this is a nice and healthy start.

October, 2017 – Intention

03 Tuesday Oct 2017

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Look at me, being all productive putting this out there only three days into the month.  I just finished assisting the Forrest Yoga Foundation training.  And I have so many takeaways and learnings that I still need to process/put into action.  So this month, I’ll focus on the uptake.  I haven’t necessarily excelled at the uptake; in fact, I may have a slight reputation for going hard/fast to get things accomplished.  Ana pointed this out to me in January of this year to uptake the Beauty, the nourishment, the joy, the healing in yoga poses.  But I’m also taking that off the mat and into life.

So here are some things I’m bringing from last month to this month.  And there will more than likely be pieces of the puzzle added.

I push myself hard, process things quickly as a need to prove myself.  Which is absolutely stupid.  I am the only me on this planet, therefore no one else can or should be on the exact same identical path.  That need to prove comes from a place of seeking validation that I matter.  So I’m going to uptake my own worth, my value, that I am enough.

If you read back through my blog, you know Baxter transitioned last year.  I feel his spirit around me quite frequently.  But apparently, he’s with me even when I don’t feel him.  And his lesson to me – love.  It’s that absolute, authentic love that we all strive to discover.  When Mike died, I very specifically remember saying the phrase “I can never hurt like this again.”  Not knowing at that point the power and magick in those words.  It’s been five years, a lot of therapy, a lot of processing, so much learning, feeling, and so many breaths into my heart, but it’s happening.  The shields have almost all dropped.  My heart that was in a box wants to come out to play and dance.  So I’m uptaking that sensation – wanting to live and to love again.

I have a few more things I’m taking away, but for here/now, this is what I’m feeling this month.  Feel free to uptake along!

Berlin update

12 Tuesday Sep 2017

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If you think I’ve been quiet this month, you’re partly right.  I’m currently in Berlin assisting the Forrest Yoga Foundation Training with Ana, Jose, and some of my best friends/mentors/family/yogi’s on the planet as fellow assistants.  It’s been an incredible month so far, with over 70 trainees learning to become Forrest Yoga teachers.  It’s humbling to be part of their journeys.

While the focus is on helping the trainees step into their own power, we assistants have regular feedback from Ana (and each other) to become stronger versions of ourselves.  The focus for my month has been around my heart and all of the stupid shields I put up as protection, the patterns and habits I developed around those shields, and pretty much shaking them all up.

IT’S BEEN AMAZING!  Working with such a strong team is inspiring and I’ll be heading home with a few ideas to work on and develop.  So much more to say about this but there’s a time and place for everything.  So stay tuned.

If you want to really see what I’m up to, follow me on social media — @badyogidc.

Strength

20 Thursday Jul 2017

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I stumbled onto something today literally by accident.  On Instagram.  Today in my therapy session, we talked some about why I fear my destiny, my power, my light.  After the session, I sat with it briefly, and decided to write a post on a photo about that fear.

Because we’re all afraid of something.  I’m not talking clowns, zombies, bears, or bugs.  I’m talking something bigger about ourselves that when it hits, literally freezes us in our steps.  For me, the fears typically manifest in some reminder and I avoid being that version of myself.  I think that fearing something about ourselves is a common thing.

I also think it’s a learned behavior.  I fear my light, because when I let myself shine, others see it and take advantage.  I fear my light because it draws attention to the fact that I’m not perfect.  I fear my power because I don’t understand how it works; and I may never understand how it works.  I fear because I was either hurt by someone in the past or because society at large isn’t sure what to do with me.

And that’s all bullshit.  Imagine seeing how brightly you can shine, and then realizing how you shine even brighter.  Imagine owning your gifts, given by a universe that understood you could handle them, and using them to heal – not only yourself but others.  Imagine not being afraid of who you are.  Because that person is you.

I’m in good company.  Ana Forrest’s book, “Fierce Medicine,” starts with the chapter “Stalk you fear: Turning from prey to predator.”  She also very wisely says we should stop trying to slay the dragons and ally with them.

Which I think I finally get.  From our greatest fears, comes our greatest strengths.  When we begin to realize that our strength can pull us over/through/away from our fear, that is when we truly begin to step into our power.  And I for one am ready to step into my power.  Who’s with me?

Why I practice yoga

23 Thursday Mar 2017

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I’m in the middle of a move.  I’d love to be able to snap my fingers, twitch my nose, and be completely done with it.  But I’m not.  I spent yesterday going through things and deciding keep or throw away/donate.  I found in the back of my closet a flannel shirt that belonged to “M.”  There’s a part of me that’s held onto it for reasons like the scene from “Brokeback Mountain.”  After the death of Jack, Ennis keeps a jacket of his in a closet under one of his own shirts and pulls it out missing the man he loved.

I thought that was what I’d do as well.  But to be honest, I haven’t thought much about that shirt for a few years and definitely haven’t been pulling it out.  So I decided to throw it out.  And the waves of sadness, nostalgia, solitude, guilt, anger, and every other grief emotion came up.

I wasn’t sure I would have time to practice but I made time – because yesterday, I needed to get into my body and get back to feeling who I am.  When I got to pigeon on the right side, the tears began to flow.  My right hip is where I carry the strongest attachments to my ex and yesterday they wanted out.  So I let them out.  I cried.  And cried a bit more.  And then sat in silence.  After, I played – because there’s no better way for me to get to my spirit than to play on my hands.

I practice yoga because it continues to save me from myself, from my old patterns, and from those nemesis thoughts.  I practice because I want to stay in feeling and I want to feel from a place of authenticity.  I practice for me.  And there’s no better reason to practice.

March, Intention

03 Friday Mar 2017

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Wow.  It’s March already.  Not only that but I’m three days in.  My intention this month has been forming for a few weeks now, it hasn’t completely landed but it’s here.  So away I go…

During the Forrest Foundation training, we are introduced to our “future selves.”  It’s who we are X number of years down the road.  It’s where we are in life.  It’s how we act, walk, talk, carry ourselves.  It was me, but only future me.  I won’t say where in time my future self was because that feels like cheating him in some way.  But he’s out there, waiting.

In January, working with Ana in Monterrey, MX, she uttered the absolutely true words “Aren’t you sick of dealing with those *nemesis thoughts?”  And then gave me one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.  In January, I was sick of those thoughts.  On March 1, I followed them.  During a practice that started when I doubted a decision I made, it all came up.  I stayed with it though.  I kept activating my feet; I kept my breath; when my instinct to run or crack a joke kicked in — I stayed.  And I learned so much.

This month, I want to stay present.  I want to feel, not only myself but those around me.  I want to connect – in real life – with students/friends/family and not via text.  I want to step into this version of myself I know is already inside of me.  I’m taking those steps now.   I’ve deleted apps from my phone that keep me on my phone and not in life.  I’m working toward calling over texting.  I’m stepping into life.

I’m also not afraid.  My friend, mentor, Forrest Teacher, studio owner AD gave me a pink dragon vein agate mala last year.  I don’t wear it often.  That particular stone amplifies the ability to manifest.  I’m already really good at manifesting things.  I have never wanted to manifest something accidentally.  But I’m wearing it more.  I’m holding it.  Because if I’m the best version of myself, I’m only manifesting good things to come.  And if I manifest good things to come, I’m getting stronger, happier, more confident.

This month, my intention is to not dim out, to not hide, and to not play coy.  I’m a fucking dragon.  I don’t need to roar.  But I will.

*Nemesis thoughts are those that are on replay in our heads, taking us down, telling us we’re not good enough, strong enough, etc.

Let it go, to let it in

28 Tuesday Feb 2017

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I had the chance to go play with (aka ‘assist’) Ana and Jose last month.  Something that Ana said during one of our morning practices has been sitting with me and just over month later, it’s resonating and I feel it.

During our pre-class practice, Ana called me out on my lion’s breaths.  She said that I was moving things away from me effectively, but it was the uptick that I wasn’t doing enough. She told me to lion’s breath again, but that time, feel for my inhale.  Holy. Shit.

I’m really good at seeing what doesn’t serve me and working to eliminate it from my habits, my practice, my life.  But where I’ve been failing has been in how do I replace it?  The inhale, after a really big exhale, is even more important.  Can I bring in sweetness/kindness/hope/strength – the opposite of what I’ve just expelled?

I’ve been playing with this an intent in my practice and in my teaching the past few days.  My practice has already begun to evolve from a “race to get there” to more allowing the pose magick to happen.  I think that there are so many layers under letting in and I’m excited to continue feeling for what they reveal.  Where else in my life can I feel for what I bring in and work to bring in Beauty.