Category Archives: Dragon

February, 2017

01 Wednesday Feb 2017

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Welcome to February.  My monthly intentions are still circling, they haven’t landed, but I definitely have some things I want to work with this month.  I’ve also added to my initial intention setting question.  While I feel for “who do I want to be on the last day of the month,” I’ve added a few additional phrases to help me shape my path – How do I become my biggest, my brightest, my best self?

With all of that, the word “healing” is pulling me in.  Healing.  For myself.  My students.  My community.  It can be a scary path – this whole stepping into and out for healing.  But in my core, in my cell tissue, I think we’re all worth it.  I’m a work in progress; so are these intentions.  Feel free to play along, to share your own.  Ask yourself that question.  Biggest.  Brightest.  Best self.

As a yoga teacher and healer, I commit to holding space.  For everyone.  Time on the mat is time to connect more deeply, more authentically with self.  I will honor this for every class, every student.  I will see you and I will not look away.  I want you to see me too.  We are same – human.  And there is much healing to be had from that alone.

I will see myself in all of my brightness, my scars, my hopes, my dark.  I am worth it.  So are you.  How can we honestly say we have come so far if we still refuse to see who we are? We cannot nor should we deny what we’ve come through.  But we should own up – take some pride even – in what we’ve accomplished.

I will act with kindness as my guide.  I will feel more.  And let others know how deeply I feel.  I will stand with everyone energetically – even if I cannot physically.  We stand together, or we pull ourselves apart.  I choose to stand.

I’m feeling pulled to be quiet – observing by seeing, hearing, feeling more.  I don’t know what that really means.  But for me, it’s a time to reflect on how I can give back, how can I be of service.  How can my healing story help yours.  And yours help mine.

We are same.  Human.

 

Why I (still) teach, 01/24/17

24 Tuesday Jan 2017

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I’ve had this as a blog post before, but as I said then – I think it’s important for teachers to revisit.  If you’re a teacher reading this blog, your turn.

I teach yoga because I’m still in love with the power of yoga to change lives.  I see it happen every fucking day.  I feel it happen every day in my own life.  There’s the obvious power on the mat, when we suddenly realize our own ability and take strides toward a pose that had previously intimidated.  I have moments off the mat when I’m reminded my breath, my strength, my power, and my worth all start with “my.”

I teach because I’m a student.  I want to learn.  From my teachers.  From my students.  From my friends.  I take every interaction in and process it because I’ve got a hunch – and pretty much always right – that there’s a nugget of wisdom in there.  And I want that wisdom.

But most importantly, I teach for my students.  They are the absolute ultimate reason I get up in the front of the room  Their commitment to being the best versions of themselves on the mat is inspiring; it’s humbling; it challenges me to be better.  Not because I want it.  But because they deserve it.

I got a gift of journals from a student.  As a “bad yogi,” I literally waited until today to open.  Not realizing there was a card inside.  I told you, bad yogi.  Quite frankly, her (BB) card to me reminded me why I teach – connection.  I see her weekly.  More than once most weeks.  And every time I am interested in her life; she (I hope) is interested in mine.  But we see each other.  We don’t look away.  And we support each other for what may lie ahead.

I teach yoga.  It’s my passion.  It’s my calling.  The universe has made it clear my direction.  I teach yoga because every day I want to become a better version of myself.  And I need someone to hold my hand so I won’t drift away.

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Truth Speak — January 16, 2017

16 Monday Jan 2017

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Five Years.

His death put me on this path.  His death changed me in ways I never thought could happen.  I went really dark the first few months after.  And in all honesty, some of that darkness remains.  A friend of mine, also my so incredible tarot reader, told me once that we who have the brightest lights are often the ones that come through the darkest dark.

I’m beginning to forget how he said my name.

Guilt.  I couldn’t save him.  Suicide is funny like that.  It leaves the survivors wondering what we could have done differently.  We question the last conversations, those precious last moments.  I’ve broken apart our interactions the final weekend for clues.  As a healer, I failed in healing.  One conversation repeatedly stands out.  He said something.  I felt something.  I called him on it, he laughed.  I shook it off.  Guilt.

This isn’t about him.

This is about me.  He chose to take himself out.  I hate being that blunt about it but he did.  And he didn’t care in that moment to think of someone else.  Anyone else.  Part of my healing has been to call him an asshole daily.  It’s a piece of homework given by my teacher that I do.  And now, more than a year after she gave it, I believe it most days.  There is more healing for me to do.

Starting fresh.

I’m lucky.  At some point, I realized I wanted to thrive.  Not just to live.  I don’t know what or how the catalyst kicked in, but it happened with the pull of Forrest Yoga.  I’m luckier still because the universe – in all its power – and the Sacred Ones – those that have gone before with all of their knowledge – granted me passage.  I don’t know if it was the fire from my dragon that put the spark of survival in me, but it burns brighter.  I’m learning more and more about dragon magick.  And I’m lucky to have another fire creature flying with me – the Phoenix.  New birth.  Fresh starts.  Out of the ashes comes Beauty.

Out of this darkness come the brightest light.

Intentions, 2017

02 Monday Jan 2017

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Well, it happened.  I think more than other recent years, many of us were ready for 2016 to get the fuck out and the words “overstayed its welcome” may be the message history has for the year.  While it’s important to move forward from the year, we need to also set intentions for the year ahead based on what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown.  I look at 2016 as a year of learning, growth, and major successes.  But it was also a year of sadness, loss, and some struggle.  I am not who I’m going to become without allowing each of those categories to have a purpose in my steps forward.  So if you’re struggling with finding an intention, don’t stress it.  Here are some of mine.  Feel free to use if they resonate.  Feel free to modify to resonate more strongly.  But most importantly, feel your way to the best version of yourself.

I teach Forrest Yoga and I take my “mend the hoop of the people” pledge from Ana very seriously.  Yesterday, while I called on the Four Directions for some inspiration, I felt the call to really step into being a healer – for myself and for others – in the year ahead.  I don’t really know exactly what it means just yet but I do have a few hunches.

I will challenge myself daily to connect with my spirit.  But I’ll use the power of connection to also connect more authentically with students, friends, family.  One of my hunches about helping to heal – primarily myself but others as well – begins with connection.  I want to see Beauty and feel gratitude every day.  And more importantly, I want to help others do the same.

I’ll continue my path of yoga.  I don’t have any specific “yoga goals” this year but I do have a general direction about where I want to take my practice.  And where my practice takes me.  I want to get stronger.  I want to stay more present.  I want to have fun while doing those.

How do I become the best version of myself?  That’s a question I ask daily and this year, I want to live it – every moment, every breath.  Feeling my way to the most powerful version of myself.  And the thought I keep having about this – I’m never going to stop growing.  Who’s in?

 

Intention – December

05 Monday Dec 2016

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The year of 2016 is coming to an end.  It’s been a year with some great moments and great memories.  This past year has offered up highs and lows, but I made it.  With less than 30 days to go, I’m ready for 2017.  But before I sing “so long, farewell” to 2016, there are a few loose ends.

This month’s intention, finally landing and making sense, is to learn who I am, grow into my spirit, and feel my way to where I want to next year.

Who am I?  Seems like a trick question, right??  But I’ve been through so much this year, I think it’s important for me to step back and to remember who I am at the beginning of the day.  I’m a yoga teacher.  A student of Forrest Yoga.  I’m a healer.  I’m a friend.  A brother.  A son.  I’ll always be a dragon but the fire of the phoenix is burning bright in me right now.  New year, new beginnings maybe.  I don’t know.  But I feel like it’s setting me up for something more.

My spirit wants attention – daily.  It’s like a greedy child but in the best possibly ways.  My spirit wants to play, to feel, to be let out and encouraged to fly.  I think the past few months of connecting to my spirit more deeply have set me up for the end of the year.  To actually without pause be with me.  And to enjoy it.

I don’t know what 2017 or the universe have in store.  But I do know a few things….I’m stronger now.  I look at myself more honestly.  I see others.  I feel others.  And I really hope for the best.  With the powers of crow flying around, I have a hunch 2017 will be a year of magick, of laughter, and of discovery.  I can’t wait.  More to come this month (I promise) but I cannot wait to step into the next year, give a quick side eye, and take off.  Who’s with me?

Be my own…

09 Wednesday Nov 2016

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I’ve been quiet lately, full of introspection, and trying to maintain my sense of peace.  The election was yesterday; we woke today to a new path forward for this country, one that I am unfortunately not surprised by.  I felt it on the wind a few weeks ago and I’ve quietly sat with that information.  I’ve gone through the stages of grief – anger, denial, more anger, confusion, acceptance, and did I mention anger?  The President-elect, in his campaign, has exposed layers of hate and intolerance that I had hoped didn’t exist; while he proved me wrong in their revelation, he won’t keep me down.

My intention this month really took form yesterday.  To “be my own…”  To be my own light; hope; love; kindness; compassion.  And from me becoming that for myself, I can better become that for someone else who needs it.  I think the strongest two of these are hope and kindness.  When we heal as a nation, it’ll be from those two words.

So what can I do?  I had a conversation with my sister tonight (well, two sisters, but I’m only referencing one – sorry JP).  She pointed out how last week, on a really bad day, anger got the better of me and I put energy out to the universe (my translation) that I didn’t need to send.  I’m not proud of that moment.  But I’m striving to correct it.

I hope that the new administration realizes – they serve us all, even those that didn’t vote for them; I hope that my rights to love and to marry are not taken; I hope that women can still choose for themselves; I really hope friends of various ethnicities can begin to feel safer; and I hope that we all begin to see each other, to speak with each other, and to accept each other.

I want to be kind to all – especially those that may not agree with me politically.  I want to be kind to myself – anger will win sometimes (that’s the dragon within) and that’s ok.  As long as I don’t direct my fire and hold space for myself, that will pass; it always does.

Mending the Hoop of the People is serious business.  But I believe in it with every fiber of my being.  I mess up, but I stand back up and fight for what’s right.  I don’t think I’m alone.  Who wants to “be their own…” and join me to #riskchangingourworld?

Intention, October ’16

01 Saturday Oct 2016

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It’s time for a new intention.  Well, not that I’m getting rid of the old ones.  That’s the fun thing about working with intents – we can add to them, allow them to evolve, or even re-use the same ones repeatedly.  I’ve been feeling the intention for this month churn inside me for a few weeks now.  With the new moon yesterday, new month today, and rainy weather here today, it feels like the right time to start.

Back story – I’ve been emotionally overwhelmed lately.  News of hate, violence, killings, beatings, etc. is really getting to me.  The level of disrespect is increasing at rates that we may have never felt before.  I’ve noticed my shoulders getting heavier with the weight of all things worldly and I’ve seen the same in bodies of students.  There have been definite moments I’ve wanted to retreat, to hide, to shield, and then to build my fortress.  I did that once.  And I’m still tearing down those walls, so I know that’s not really an option.

This month, I’m working with the word ‘connection.’  Each day, I’m going to go deeper connecting with my own spirit.  Using some lessons from Ana Forrest, I’m going to feed my spirit daily, to delight it, and to feel my own light grow brighter.  And each day, I’m going to connect to the spirit of anyone the universe leads across my path.  I’m going to see people as human.  Not a designer label, not a social class, but an outright human.  And hopefully, whether they feel it or not, their spirit will feel the value my spirit places on them.  And they get to grow brighter too.

While I’m not sure, I feel like actually connecting with myself and with others with true kindness is the beginning lesson we need to change this world.  To heal.  Authentic connection can be the catalyst to change, but as brightly as I know I can shine, I can’t do it alone.  If connecting to your own spirit is new to you, I’m going to give some ideas of how I’ll be connecting.  If you have that but aren’t sure how to connect to others, I’ve got some suggestions.  They’re just suggestions and you’ll figure out what will work for you.  Use this intent, share this intent.  And let’s all shine more.

Connecting to spirit: meditate; dance; sing; yoga; learn something new every day; play a drum; play a flute; play something; laugh; go outside; walk a dog; scratch a cat; feel the earth; look up; read a book; write a journal; write a poem.

Connecting to others: get off the computer; get off Facebook; call; write a letter; meet for coffee; meet for dinner; say hi to a stranger; open a door; say thank you; don’t look away; put phones down; laugh; sing; dance; hug; share a poem; share a song.

Imagine

20 Tuesday Sep 2016

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There has been quite a bit of turmoil in the world lately.  I really haven’t been able to look away.  And not looking away has been slowly breaking me down and making me want to throw my shields up to hide.  With senseless deaths all over the news, bombings, violence, and absolute disrespect happening everywhere it seems, I’ve begun to take my shielding precautions  without actually shielding myself.

I practiced yesterday with two of my best friends on this planet.  The thought of “how do I/we get my/our spark(s) to outshine the hate?” kept coming up.  I unfortunately don’t have an answer yet.  But I feel it about to happen.  Because I was with both AD and CR in spirit, surrounded by their laughs, their joy, and their hope.  Combine that with mine and we can take on the world.

I had an email discussion with one of my nieces today.  What started quite frankly as two people on opposite sides of the street concluded with two people meeting at the intersection.  Both of us have a sense of dismay for what’s happening around us, neither of us has a straight up answer, but we’re neither one willing to give up hope.

As I did my daily practice today, I’ve been taking advantage of the amazing weather in DC and practicing on my building rooftop.  Today, while sirens were sounding around the city and as I began my sun salutations, John Lennon’s song “Imagine” came on.  It was surreal.  Here I was, in the middle of a city, with city life happening all around, and a song about hope came on my shuffle.

Imagine.  A world where we actually respect each other.  A world where I see you, you see me, and we neither look away.  I’m feeling incredibly saddened by events across the globe but as the saying goes “Think globally, act locally.”  So I shall.  I’m avoiding negative headlined news stories; I won’t click on the stories of violence and hate – this is not to say I’m ignoring, it’s saying I’m sick and fucking tired about reading about them; I’m looking for connections with other people – real, authentic connection.  Where we allow our humanity out and show our true vulnerabilities, also known as being strong.  Who’s with me?

“You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one”  John Lennon.

Homecoming

11 Monday Jul 2016

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No, it’s not me going back to my high school or college.  But where my life was so incredibly changed.

I leave in a few hours for my return to Peterborough, UK.  I completed my Forrest Yoga Foundation Training there two years ago.  I can’t believe it’s been only two years – I feel so incredibly different than when I started this journey.  I’m assisting my second Foundation training led by Ana Forrest and including assistants that assisted my training.  This feels like my family.

Don’t get me wrong – I love my family with all my heart.  They have been there for me in ways that I am forever grateful.  But this group – Ana, Jose, Sandra, Jambo, Sita, and Ros – they’ve seen me through my shit.  And I cannot wait for the moment I’m able to pull each of them in my arms and thank them.

I’m working in my own little corner to Mend the Hoop of the People.  And I’ve realized that Hoop Mending begins with myself – and from there, I can help students, friends, teachers, and other to feel their own strength within, to lift their heads, and to face the world in the security that I’m there next to them; and they are next to me.

Homecoming.  It’s about reconnecting.  It’s about love.  And it’s about celebrating every moment our paths cross.

Let it go

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

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I’ve been quiet this past week, going inside, feeling my feels, and letting others shield me for me.  To catch you up, I had to let go of my best friend and bulldog Baxter one week ago today.  The cancer began to show definite signs it was winning.  He wasn’t suffering, he was growing weaker, and I didn’t want the suffering to begin.  I was able to spend the day with him – loving him, taking his love in, and honoring the amazing dog that he was.  The final moments of his life were filled with love and Beauty.

In his loss, I’ve been working on a really quite difficult version of gratitude – grateful for the years that I had with him and grateful we shared that time, thereby letting him go in love.  It’s hard, I’m not going to lie.  In letting go, we typically want to be selfish and keep that which we cherish near us.  Letting go with gratitude allows us to let go of what we love and hold tight to the memories filled with love.

I had another moment of letting go in gratitude today that reminded me of this work.  I lost a $20 bill.  It fell out of my pocket somewhere between the store and home.  When I realized it wasn’t in my pocket, my first thought was “Well, shit.”

But then I said a prayer.  I asked the Sacred Ones to guide that $20 to someone that needs the money more than I or to someone that is feeling down on their luck and needed a change of tide.  In that moment, with that simple prayer, I let go of Baxter.  I fully gave his amazing spirit over to the universe to use – he was love and his spirit in the plane he reincarnates will be love again.  Giving someone somewhere joy – much like the joy he gave to me.