It’s Sunday, June 11. This weekend in DC was the official “Pride Weekend.” And I missed it. I went to New Haven, CT to spend time as a student of Ana. I took morning intensives the past three days and I’m going to be honest – they still have the power to shift me into a different place, much like they did when I went through my Forrest Yoga Foundation training in 2014.
As I sit here and begin to process some of the nuggets she gave me; some of the ceremony Jose inspired me with, I realize – pride is something I haven’t really felt in my life. See, I was raised in a church going, Bible reading family. When I really began to realize I was gay, I fought it. I fought myself. I shunned myself. Some would say that a portion of my soul was sent away when I turned away from myself.
And I still struggle. To be honest, I don’t really approve much of organized religions these days. Mainly because I know what I went through to get where I am right now. There are moments I still don’t accept myself. There are moments I still feel less than fully human.
And that’s bullshit. I am exactly who I was intended to be. I’ve survived what I’ve survived not because I’m a “sinner” or have a karmic balance to uphold, but because my light, even on its darkest days, outshines my dark.
I interchange the word pride with acceptance. Because that’s what we’re all seeking. It’s not about being proudly gay, or proudly straight, or proudly trans….
It’s about being accepted for who I (you) am (are) in that moment in time.