What am I for? Can I believe it?
There’s a line from a song that I’m currently obsessed with that, when taken out of context, asks the simple question – what am I for? And if I knew, could I believe it? Maybe.
This month, my biggest intention I’m chasing is rediscovering my passions. I teach yoga – I love teaching yoga. I get to play in a week with one of my best friends when he comes to the States, I’m assisting Ana Forrest this month, and then I get to play more with Jambo. When I’m around people that love their craft and students as much as Ana, Jose, and Jambo, it’s so inspirational. I think I get bonus time with Brian and Szilvia, who always seem to be exactly what I need them to be in that moment. It’s a good month to rediscover.
But I’m also taking action outside of yoga. I’m back playing softball. We had a practice yesterday. While it was completely obvious I haven’t played in two years, I got some of the rust off – and hung out with some really amazing friends. My rediscovery – connection.
I’m cooking one “extravagant” meal a month. Just for me. I love to cook and love to bake. And while I cook most meals, I don’t go “balls to the wall” cooking anymore. You know those recipes – they challenge us; they could go bad; and I might eat take out. But cooking is meditative for me and I want to spend a few meal times making it more ceremonial.
I’m a healer. I can say that now and believe it most moments. Part of healing is understanding that I still get to work on myself. Most specifically, I have some issues where my tendencies don’t serve and it’s in those spots I want to stalk in my body, find where they live, and learn to work with them. I may end up removing them altogether but that’s the discovery.
Stepping into my biggest, my brightest, my best self takes time. Awareness. Authenticity. Spirit. It also takes the desire to get there. And the understanding that even when I’m shining boldly and brightly today, there’s always tomorrow to shine more.