Wow. It’s March already. Not only that but I’m three days in. My intention this month has been forming for a few weeks now, it hasn’t completely landed but it’s here. So away I go…
During the Forrest Foundation training, we are introduced to our “future selves.” It’s who we are X number of years down the road. It’s where we are in life. It’s how we act, walk, talk, carry ourselves. It was me, but only future me. I won’t say where in time my future self was because that feels like cheating him in some way. But he’s out there, waiting.
In January, working with Ana in Monterrey, MX, she uttered the absolutely true words “Aren’t you sick of dealing with those *nemesis thoughts?” And then gave me one of the best compliments I’ve ever received. In January, I was sick of those thoughts. On March 1, I followed them. During a practice that started when I doubted a decision I made, it all came up. I stayed with it though. I kept activating my feet; I kept my breath; when my instinct to run or crack a joke kicked in — I stayed. And I learned so much.
This month, I want to stay present. I want to feel, not only myself but those around me. I want to connect – in real life – with students/friends/family and not via text. I want to step into this version of myself I know is already inside of me. I’m taking those steps now. I’ve deleted apps from my phone that keep me on my phone and not in life. I’m working toward calling over texting. I’m stepping into life.
I’m also not afraid. My friend, mentor, Forrest Teacher, studio owner AD gave me a pink dragon vein agate mala last year. I don’t wear it often. That particular stone amplifies the ability to manifest. I’m already really good at manifesting things. I have never wanted to manifest something accidentally. But I’m wearing it more. I’m holding it. Because if I’m the best version of myself, I’m only manifesting good things to come. And if I manifest good things to come, I’m getting stronger, happier, more confident.
This month, my intention is to not dim out, to not hide, and to not play coy. I’m a fucking dragon. I don’t need to roar. But I will.
*Nemesis thoughts are those that are on replay in our heads, taking us down, telling us we’re not good enough, strong enough, etc.