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badyogidc

~ We'll meet at the point our paths cross.

badyogidc

Monthly Archives: November 2015

#heartinabox

09 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by badyogidc in #nothingforgranted, Beauty Reports, Breath, Dragon, Forrest Yoga, Intention setting, Intentions, Life Lessons

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#nothingforgranted, Beauty Reports, Intention

I’m currently working on a pretty big issue in my life.  After my ex died a few years ago, I did something to protect myself that at the time, made sense.  I boxed my heart up and hid it away.  Because at that point in my life, I was completely shattered.  And at that point in my life, I wasn’t sure how I’d breathe, let alone walk and take steps forward on my path.

Cut to last month in Chicago.  I’d forgotten how securely I built the box around my heart.  During the Forrest Foundation training, another assistant and I demonstrated a seeing exercise.  During the exercise, she quite accurately saw my heart wanting to burst out of the box.  After that discovery, I’m working on revealing more of my heart and letting it out of the box entirely.  Scary, I know.

Part of that process has been to come at the box with everything I have.  And what I can say is that attention, or type of attack, is just building the boxes defenses up even more.  Needless to say, that was not my goal.  During a Forrest class yesterday, with the focus to breathe into one spot for the entire class, the realization came to me – I’ve been coming at the box with a sledgehammer when it wanted a feather.

One thing that Ana said last month during the training is ringing true.  We often attack with everything we have but in reality, just need a bit of compassion.  I applied compassion during class yesterday and the result wasn’t shift or opening but a movement toward awareness.  It was an interesting day yesterday and today as well – with much introspection and deep breath.  I can softly acknowledge that I’m on this path now toward letting my heart out.  I’m not sure how long it’ll take but I’m walking it.  And trying to allow my heart to lead the way.

This is me.

01 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by badyogidc in #nothingforgranted, Bad Yogi, Dragon, Forrest, Forrest Yoga, Intention setting, Intentions, Life Lessons

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#nothingforgranted, Intention

Happy November 1!  I’m not really sure where October went but my calendar magically flipped over to the new month.  As the first of the month, I’m setting my monthlong intention and sharing it very publicly for the world to see.

November is going to be a month of introspection.  I’m going to go inside and see who I am – hoping that I like what I see or have the courage to change what I don’t.  I have some pretty big things that in my opinion, are still holding me back from living fully, being the teacher I see in my future, and becoming the guy that I want to date.

I wouldn’t be lying even a little bit when I say – I’m a bit scared.  And already have had thoughts about changing my intent this month.  That would be avoidance.  And if Forrest Yoga has taught me anything, it’s to no be scared to stalk those issues that hold me back but to get curious.

So while I know the root cause of my heart being in a box (another soon to come blog), I have no idea how to start opening that box.  I also hear that jerk of a critic in my head regularly and I want to figure out how to shut him up.  I know I have triggers.  I know I have some avoidance tendencies but I’m putting them in the past.  Hopefully.

This month, it’s about growth.  It’s about seeing my future self.  And owning the fact that he’s already here but my past self keeps shutting him down.  So keep watching this space – I’ll try and be more vocal about what I’m going through, as long as it’s authentic.  Join me in the intent, even if it’s just working on one thing that you want to change.  And let’s see if by November 30, we all make significant strides forward on this hike called life.

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